Songs From A Toxic Apartment

by Ethan Gold

Songs From A Toxic Apartment cover art
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1.
00:13
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2.
(free) 03:32
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3.
(free) 04:11
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4.
03:30
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5.
05:22
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6.
03:54
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7.
01:26
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8.
04:22
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9.
03:05
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10.
02:03
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11.
03:41
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12.
03:25
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13.
05:42
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about

"Gold's emotions are sent into a whirlwind as he asks for salvation and tries to stay motivated as the devil stares him down and his relationships are damaged by sex. The album has a childlike emotional purity to it, but that's not to say that it's immature or naïve. Instead, it's rooted in the fact that children don't obscure their hurt by anger or bravado or even mock diffidence, as adults often do.... The emotions on Songs From a Toxic Apartment are delivered with an unfiltered, glaring legibility.”

- Martin Douglas, Pitchfork

"If you take the time to get to know this man's music, you will be rewarded…. This album contains plenty of amazing moments...but they are, perhaps, even more amazing when you consider the fact that Gold recorded the entire album by himself. And yet these never sound like solo recordings in the least…. Excellent personalized pop that stands up to dozens upon dozens of spins.... TOP PICK."

- S. Feivel, BabySue.com

credits

released 11 January 2011
Produced, Arranged, Performed, Engineered, and Mixed by Ethan Gold. Mastered by Roger Seibel and SAE Mastering, Phoenix. Artwork / Design by Sol Sender, Javier López, and Ethan Gold. Incorporating photographs and stills from Chi Jang Yin, Ethan Gold, Aleksandar Sepi, Tod Polson, Rachel Samuels, Ristow/Bassine, and Dilworth/Gold archives.

All songs ©Ethan Gold - Lonely Cities Music (ASCAP).

tags

tags: alternative alternative electronic electronic folk elvis perkins folk folk electronic indie pop indie rock mean creek the honey brothers Los Angeles

license

all rights reserved

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about

Ethan’s debut album was created while living in a corroding flat in Los Angeles and composing film scores, playing in other ... more bands, producing and arranging albums for other artists, and writing a sprawling rock opera. Escaping the toxic building, Ethan chose 12 of his rock opera demos to turn into something new on a recording rig in his new mini-kitchen. This is: Songs from a Toxic Apartment. less

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Track Name: Why Don't You Sleep?
Strap my laces tight
I’m going to run away today
No release will make me right
I haven’t slept for eleven days

Help me
Help me
Help me
Help me

why don’t you sleep, dear
why don’t you sleep, dear
nothing will happen ta you
you’re safe while you sleep, dear

zombie boy on the road
better than a zombie in bed
i can’t ever do what i’m told
i’ll sleep when when i am dead

Help me
but you can’t help me
I’ll bet you can’t help me

why don’t you sleep, dear
why don’t you sleep, dear
nothing will happen ta you
you’re safe while you sleep, here

there’ll be no spiders to bite your tongue
there’ll be no viruses in your lungs
and the earthquake won’t pin you
so why don’t you sleep?
why don’t you sleep?

I’ll come around
I’ll come around
I’ll come around
I’ll come around
And darkness shows me the way….

why don’t you sleep, dear
why don’t you sleep, dear
nothing will happen ta you
you’re safe while you sleep, HERE

there’ll be no spiders to bite your tongue
there’ll be no viruses in your lungs
and the earthquake won’t pin you
so why can’t you sleep?
why don’t you sleep?
Track Name: Royal Flush
your room’s so stale, so stale you’re almost nothing, but you can’t fool me.
I want to feel the grime, breathe the stagnant air, peel and taste away the slime, til there’s color in your face that I can see.

your pasty skin—I want to
your carbon lung—I want you

come on my darlin’
come on my darlin’
come on my darlin’
soon as we play we win
and we can play again

you are like a wall with a hundred doors, up and down, open, closed; scared and confused.
but I’m scared too, you’re like a foreign object, but I know our need’s the same, I know our need’s the same.

you always starved—I want too
now it’s how you cry—I want you

(you’re showing red again)

come on my darlin’ (show me your heart)
show your hand darlin’ (show me your heart)
come on my darlin’
soon as we play we win
and we can play again

(you’re showing red again)
Track Name: Are We Recording?
Are We Recording? (preview)

Are we recording?
Are we freezing our dreams for the world?
Can we start rolling?
Is the equipment running as it should?

We don’t know why we are doing it
But it’s good that we are

Are we recording?
Electric ride to no-one towns
I want that lipstick
I love you can we get this down?

Are we recording?
Can we make it in a shrink-wrap case?
Sell me immortal
Will you remember if I kiss your face?

We don’t know why are doing it
But it’s good that we are

Are we recording?
Are you feeling the groove in my sound?
Are we recording?
So we can do it when I’m not around
LEDs jumping
I am freezing my dreams and it’s good
The bass is pumping
Our equipment’s running as it should

We don’t know why we’re doing it
But it’s good that we are doing it
We don’t know why we are doing it
But it’s good that we are doing it
We don’t know why we’re—

Are we recording?
Are we freezing our dreams for the world?
Are we recording?
Are we freezing our dreams for the world?
Track Name: They Turned Away
I want something sweet to teach me ‘bout sweetness
I want someone to love my ugliest shafts
Peer under my skin and say
‘we’ll be okay’. I want to be
Carried home on a stretcher smiling
But alive enough to enjoy the cradle this time oh innocence
Comes and goes
One way love takes it
Two-way love brings it back
Bring it back

Don’t turn away
Don’t give me that look that says ‘ew you’re weird and I’m so clean’
Don’t tell me you
Haven’t looked pain in the eyes
Don’t leave me here
I showed you the spark of evil in me so you’d blow it out
Don’t tell me the worst
That your life is as good as it seems from the outside

I’m standing at a turret looking out at the world
Gripping the gun
and the sun burns my blistered lips
But I don’t feel no pain
By me I’m framed
Won’t let nothing
Melt my self-made cage I’ve got it
Complete control I’m running in slo-mo through the flames
Big screen in my mind
I can rewind and play as many times as I was left out to die

Now don’t you turn away
Don’t give me that look that says ‘ew you’re weird and I’m so clean’
Don’t tell me you
Haven’t looked pain in the eyes
Don’t leave me here
I showed you the spark of evil in me so you’d blow it out
Don’t tell me the worst
That your life is as good as it seems from the outside

And you should know
I’m wise beyond my years
And you should know
I’m tired beyond my years
I tried to show my real face
but they turned away
They turned away
I was looking for one tender embrace
and They turned away
They turned away
The germ of hate grew up to take my place
They turned away
They turned away
Waste youth once now I can’t retrace
It’s too late
It’s too late

CHORUS WITH:
There are some who could charm the pants off the gods
There are some who could win the game for the school
There are some who had it all, even winners’ grace
There are some whose houses were warm and calm
A place to go where the talk was good for the mind
A place to go where the toys were the best you could find
A place to go where words were good and kind
A place to go where no-one’s left behind
+ There are some…. who could charm the pants off the gods
There are some…. whose houses were warm and calm
Don’t turn away, they turned away, don’t turn away
Don’t turn away, they turned away, don’t turn away
Track Name: "That" (reprise)
I was a man
Not the shadow of a man
When you shudder to see “that”
I’m that, I’m that,
This is what I am
I was a man, not the shadow of a man
When you point your finger at “that”
I’m that, I’m that
This is what I am
Track Name: Nonstop
Drunk and tired but I still got some oil to burn
Drunk and I want to slurk where I won’t be spurned
The streets echo my steps
The girl couldn’t stay
Midtown’s just a couple a miles away, yeah

Anything you want, everything you need
City’s gonna tease you ‘til you bleed

Drunk and tired but some john’s got money to burn
Drunk and tired but I still got some tricks to turn
Just like plutonium
I feel natural
I’m going to suck on the world ‘til I’m full, yeah

Anything you want, everything you need
City’s gonna tease you ‘til you bleed
Anything you want, everything you need
City’s gonna tease you ‘til you —

I can hardly stand but I ain’t going home

A Whore, A Whore, A Whore, A Whore
A Whore, A Whore, A Whore, A Whore

Drunk and tired there’s no cure like a shot of sleaze
Where nothing’s real, but they aim to please
The streets echo my steps
The girls never stay
Midtown’s just a couple a miles away, yeah

Anything you want, everything you need (I’m a naughty boy, I’m a naughty boy)
City’s gonna tease you ‘til you bleed (I’m a naughty boy, I’m a naughty boy)
Anything you want, everything you need (I’m a naughty boy, I’m a naughty boy)
City’s gonna tease you ‘til you —

I can hardly stand but I ain’t goin’ home
Anywhere I land I will call my own
I can hardly stand but I ain’t goin’ home
Anywhere I land I will call my own
Track Name: Tonight...
I can’t complain, this is the life I made
But just tonight I saw how alone I am
Nobody to go out with
Nobody left to call
And just tonight I saw how alone I am

It’s okay, if you don’t want to
It’s getting late, anyway
Under a starry sky, if you strain your eyes
You might see me fade away

‘Cause I’ve been searching for so long
Forgot what I was trying to find
And just tonight I saw how alone I am

It’s okay, if you don’t want to
It’s getting late, anyway
Under a blackened sky, if you close your eyes
You could feel me fade away

But it’s hello to myself again
I used to be my own friend
And just tonight I saw how alone I am
Yes it’s hello to myself again
I used to be my own friend
Just tonight I saw how alone I am
Track Name: Come On Beat It Down
they sure beat it down all into me, yeah
they sure beat it down all into me, yeah
i might beat something down all into her, yeah
they sure beat it down all into her, yeah

mom’s telling me
if it doesn’t kill me it makes me strong
so i should be strong now
but i’m not, haven’t you noticed?

but someday, i’ll make my escape
and i’ll be free
who then can hurt me
except myself
won’t that be something

come on an’ beat it down all into me, yeah
come on an’ beat it down all into me, yeah
come on an’ beat it down all into me, yeah
come on beat it down!
Track Name: I.C.U. (toxic)
I’m in so much trouble this time
I must have done some terrible crime

Wake up my little lamb

I see you
(Welcome to a world of lies)
I’ll be you
(Where everyone’s an evil spy)
I see you

Follow the crooked stairs back down
Nobody hears if you don’t make a sound
Hidden away that’s right where I’ll be found
A black bird carries the world around

Wake up my little lamb

I see you
(Welcome to a world of lies)
I’ll free you
(Where everyone’s an evil spy)
I see you
(Look into my sorry eyes)
I’ll be you
(Make yourself a good disguise and locked up, locked up)
I see you
(Welcome to a world of lies, locked up, locked up)
I’ll free you
(Where everyone’s an evil spy, locked up, hung up)
I see you
(Held down like you’re small again)

Peacocks, dropped out my window into the shallow pool
If you see their bodies, I was being naughty, take me to the ttopy
I couldn’t see my witnesses
Can’t get away
I can’t get away
Track Name: On Edge (celestial porch)
I’m on edge
I’m on edge
I’m on edge
I’ve always been on edge
Wasted too much time
Being told pain would make me strong
Rollercoaster mind
Can’t stop til I get it wrong

I’m on edge
I’m on edge
I’m on edge
I’ve always been on edge
Came in my sleep
Makin love to a spanish girl
Came in my sleep
Kissin the priest

At the end of the ride
On the edge of a suicide
At the end of the ride
On the edge of a suicide
At the end of the ride
On the edge of a suicide
At the end of the ride
On the edge of a
Track Name: To Isis Sleeping
Dry eyes stare at the ceiling street glow
Flickering from your window
Crouch under sheets that smell of your skin
Only your breath has breathed in
I brave the cold black air to enter
This universe’s center
Pass through you I can feel your sorrow
Blue soul and walls so hollow

Apollo crossing borders to Isis sleeping
Never as sweet as those she’s keeping

We will fly out and dance in the air
You’ll smile and I will be there
Still water slipping down a slow drain
Share bread in love and no pain

Apollo crossing borders to Isis sleeping
Never as sweet as those she’s keeping

Apollo crossing borders to Isis sleeping
Never as sweet as those she’s keeping
Apollo tossing secrets and weeping
‘re never as sweet as Isis sleeping
I want to hear you say
Come into me
Come into me
Come into me
Come into me