Songs From A Toxic Apartment

by Ethan Gold

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wfuller This is such an amazing album. All of your music is so good. The emotion in your music is raw and authentic. There seems to be something for every mood from sheer anger and frustration, to the sort of angst that makes seeking solace in all the wrong places seem like a plausible solution. The need for love, to belong, and connect is too real for so many. The solutions are not always easy. My favorite song is To Isis Sleeping. Without dreaming how is anything possible? Favorite track: To Isis Sleeping.

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Ethan’s debut album, home recorded and mixed, is a very personal song cycle of longing, rage, and redemption.

"Gold's emotions are sent into a whirlwind as he asks for salvation and tries to stay motivated as the devil stares him down and his relationships are damaged by sex. The album has a childlike emotional purity to it, but that's not to say that it's immature or naïve. Instead, it's rooted in the fact that children don't obscure their hurt by anger or bravado or even mock diffidence, as adults often do.... The emotions on Songs From a Toxic Apartment are delivered with an unfiltered, glaring legibility.”

- Martin Douglas, Pitchfork

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Full Digital Discography

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Earth City 1: The Longing, Bright & Lonely City, Pretty Girls, In New York, Alexandria & Me, The Last Dive, Our Love is Beautiful, Not Me. Us., and 7 more. , and , .

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1.	(intro) 00:13		buy track
2.	Why Don't You Sleep? (free) 03:32	lyrics	download
Strap my laces tight I’m going to run away today No release will make me right I haven’t slept for eleven days Help me Help me Help me Help me why don’t you sleep, dear why don’t you sleep, dear nothing will happen ta you you’re safe while you sleep, dear zombie boy on the road better than a zombie in bed i can’t ever do what i’m told i’ll sleep when when i am dead Help me but you can’t help me I’ll bet you can’t help me why don’t you sleep, dear why don’t you sleep, dear nothing will happen ta you you’re safe while you sleep, here there’ll be no spiders to bite your tongue there’ll be no viruses in your lungs and the earthquake won’t pin you so why don’t you sleep? why don’t you sleep? I’ll come around I’ll come around I’ll come around I’ll come around And darkness shows me the way…. why don’t you sleep, dear why don’t you sleep, dear nothing will happen ta you you’re safe while you sleep, HERE there’ll be no spiders to bite your tongue there’ll be no viruses in your lungs and the earthquake won’t pin you so why can’t you sleep? why don’t you sleep?
3.	Royal Flush (free) 04:11	lyrics	download
your room’s so stale, so stale you’re almost nothing, but you can’t fool me. I want to feel the grime, breathe the stagnant air, peel and taste away the slime, til there’s color in your face that I can see. your pasty skin—I want to your carbon lung—I want you come on my darlin’ come on my darlin’ come on my darlin’ soon as we play we win and we can play again you are like a wall with a hundred doors, up and down, open, closed; scared and confused. but I’m scared too, you’re like a foreign object, but I know our need’s the same, I know our need’s the same. you always starved—I want too now it’s how you cry—I want you (you’re showing red again) come on my darlin’ (show me your heart) show your hand darlin’ (show me your heart) come on my darlin’ soon as we play we win and we can play again (you’re showing red again)
4.	Are We Recording? 03:30	lyrics	buy track
Are We Recording? (preview) Are we recording? Are we freezing our dreams for the world? Can we start rolling? Is the equipment running as it should? We don’t know why we are doing it But it’s good that we are Are we recording? Electric ride to no-one towns I want that lipstick I love you can we get this down? Are we recording? Can we make it in a shrink-wrap case? Sell me immortal Will you remember if I kiss your face? We don’t know why are doing it But it’s good that we are Are we recording? Are you feeling the groove in my sound? Are we recording? So we can do it when I’m not around LEDs jumping I am freezing my dreams and it’s good The bass is pumping Our equipment’s running as it should We don’t know why we’re doing it But it’s good that we are doing it We don’t know why we are doing it But it’s good that we are doing it We don’t know why we’re— Are we recording? Are we freezing our dreams for the world? Are we recording? Are we freezing our dreams for the world?
5.	They Turned Away 05:22	lyrics	buy track
I want something sweet to teach me ‘bout sweetness I want someone to love my ugliest shafts Peer under my skin and say ‘we’ll be okay’. I want to be Carried home on a stretcher smiling But alive enough to enjoy the cradle this time oh innocence Comes and goes One way love takes it Two-way love brings it back Bring it back Don’t turn away Don’t give me that look that says ‘ew you’re weird and I’m so clean’ Don’t tell me you Haven’t looked pain in the eyes Don’t leave me here I showed you the spark of evil in me so you’d blow it out Don’t tell me the worst That your life is as good as it seems from the outside I’m standing at a turret looking out at the world Gripping the gun and the sun burns my blistered lips But I don’t feel no pain By me I’m framed Won’t let nothing Melt my self-made cage I’ve got it Complete control I’m running in slo-mo through the flames Big screen in my mind I can rewind and play as many times as I was left out to die Now don’t you turn away Don’t give me that look that says ‘ew you’re weird and I’m so clean’ Don’t tell me you Haven’t looked pain in the eyes Don’t leave me here I showed you the spark of evil in me so you’d blow it out Don’t tell me the worst That your life is as good as it seems from the outside And you should know I’m wise beyond my years And you should know I’m tired beyond my years I tried to show my real face but they turned away They turned away I was looking for one tender embrace and They turned away They turned away The germ of hate grew up to take my place They turned away They turned away Waste youth once now I can’t retrace It’s too late It’s too late CHORUS WITH: There are some who could charm the pants off the gods There are some who could win the game for the school There are some who had it all, even winners’ grace There are some whose houses were warm and calm A place to go where the talk was good for the mind A place to go where the toys were the best you could find A place to go where words were good and kind A place to go where no-one’s left behind + There are some…. who could charm the pants off the gods There are some…. whose houses were warm and calm Don’t turn away, they turned away, don’t turn away Don’t turn away, they turned away, don’t turn away
6.	Poison 03:54		buy track
7.	"That" (reprise) 01:26	lyrics	buy track
I was a man Not the shadow of a man When you shudder to see “that” I’m that, I’m that, This is what I am I was a man, not the shadow of a man When you point your finger at “that” I’m that, I’m that This is what I am
8.	Nonstop 04:22	lyrics	buy track
Drunk and tired but I still got some oil to burn Drunk and I want to slurk where I won’t be spurned The streets echo my steps The girl couldn’t stay Midtown’s just a couple a miles away, yeah Anything you want, everything you need City’s gonna tease you ‘til you bleed Drunk and tired but some john’s got money to burn Drunk and tired but I still got some tricks to turn Just like plutonium I feel natural I’m going to suck on the world ‘til I’m full, yeah Anything you want, everything you need City’s gonna tease you ‘til you bleed Anything you want, everything you need City’s gonna tease you ‘til you — I can hardly stand but I ain’t going home A Whore, A Whore, A Whore, A Whore A Whore, A Whore, A Whore, A Whore Drunk and tired there’s no cure like a shot of sleaze Where nothing’s real, but they aim to please The streets echo my steps The girls never stay Midtown’s just a couple a miles away, yeah Anything you want, everything you need (I’m a naughty boy, I’m a naughty boy) City’s gonna tease you ‘til you bleed (I’m a naughty boy, I’m a naughty boy) Anything you want, everything you need (I’m a naughty boy, I’m a naughty boy) City’s gonna tease you ‘til you — I can hardly stand but I ain’t goin’ home Anywhere I land I will call my own I can hardly stand but I ain’t goin’ home Anywhere I land I will call my own
9.	Tonight... 03:05	lyrics	buy track
I can’t complain, this is the life I made But just tonight I saw how alone I am Nobody to go out with Nobody left to call And just tonight I saw how alone I am It’s okay, if you don’t want to It’s getting late, anyway Under a starry sky, if you strain your eyes You might see me fade away ‘Cause I’ve been searching for so long Forgot what I was trying to find And just tonight I saw how alone I am It’s okay, if you don’t want to It’s getting late, anyway Under a blackened sky, if you close your eyes You could feel me fade away But it’s hello to myself again I used to be my own friend And just tonight I saw how alone I am Yes it’s hello to myself again I used to be my own friend Just tonight I saw how alone I am
10.	Come On Beat It Down 02:03	lyrics	buy track
they sure beat it down all into me, yeah they sure beat it down all into me, yeah i might beat something down all into her, yeah they sure beat it down all into her, yeah mom’s telling me if it doesn’t kill me it makes me strong so i should be strong now but i’m not, haven’t you noticed? but someday, i’ll make my escape and i’ll be free who then can hurt me except myself won’t that be something come on an’ beat it down all into me, yeah come on an’ beat it down all into me, yeah come on an’ beat it down all into me, yeah come on beat it down!
11.	I.C.U. (toxic) 03:41	lyrics	buy track
I’m in so much trouble this time I must have done some terrible crime Wake up my little lamb I see you (Welcome to a world of lies) I’ll be you (Where everyone’s an evil spy) I see you Follow the crooked stairs back down Nobody hears if you don’t make a sound Hidden away that’s right where I’ll be found A black bird carries the world around Wake up my little lamb I see you (Welcome to a world of lies) I’ll free you (Where everyone’s an evil spy) I see you (Look into my sorry eyes) I’ll be you (Make yourself a good disguise and locked up, locked up) I see you (Welcome to a world of lies, locked up, locked up) I’ll free you (Where everyone’s an evil spy, locked up, hung up) I see you (Held down like you’re small again) Peacocks, dropped out my window into the shallow pool If you see their bodies, I was being naughty, take me to the ttopy I couldn’t see my witnesses Can’t get away I can’t get away
12.	On Edge (celestial porch) 03:25	lyrics	buy track
I’m on edge I’m on edge I’m on edge I’ve always been on edge Wasted too much time Being told pain would make me strong Rollercoaster mind Can’t stop til I get it wrong I’m on edge I’m on edge I’m on edge I’ve always been on edge Came in my sleep Makin love to a spanish girl Came in my sleep Kissin the priest At the end of the ride On the edge of a suicide At the end of the ride On the edge of a suicide At the end of the ride On the edge of a suicide At the end of the ride On the edge of a
13.	To Isis Sleeping 05:42	lyrics	buy track
Dry eyes stare at the ceiling street glow Flickering from your window Crouch under sheets that smell of your skin Only your breath has breathed in I brave the cold black air to enter This universe’s center Pass through you I can feel your sorrow Blue soul and walls so hollow Apollo crossing borders to Isis sleeping Never as sweet as those she’s keeping We will fly out and dance in the air You’ll smile and I will be there Still water slipping down a slow drain Share bread in love and no pain Apollo crossing borders to Isis sleeping Never as sweet as those she’s keeping Apollo crossing borders to Isis sleeping Never as sweet as those she’s keeping Apollo tossing secrets and weeping ‘re never as sweet as Isis sleeping I want to hear you say Come into me Come into me Come into me Come into me

about

"If you take the time to get to know this man's music, you will be rewarded…. This album contains plenty of amazing moments...but they are, perhaps, even more amazing when you consider the fact that Gold recorded the entire album by himself. And yet these never sound like solo recordings in the least…. Excellent personalized pop that stands up to dozens upon dozens of spins.... TOP PICK." - S. Feivel, BabySue.com

“Remarkably polished pop… with echoes of Badly Drawn Boy… almost disintegrating Syd-Barrett-isms…. Essential New Music” –The Sunday Times

“Something rather lovely and rather new from a clearly very talented singer songwriter… I’m playing that one a lot…” –BBC Radio London

“Ricco di esperienze personali…tra l’uso dei synth e uno spirito più rock” –Indie For Bunnies

“It has that low key sound that adds a great deal of atmosphere to the record, and is all the better for lacking that crystal clear clarity you get from the recording studio…. Songs such as the insomniac anthem ‘Why Don’t You Sleep?’ and the sexual politics of ‘Poison’, are full of intensity. There is a stark honesty to this collection of tracks, with a deep emotional vein that is tapped into continuously….There are moments of beauty in the darkness; a little dazzle in the desolation.” –Fatea Records

“Delicate, subtle and moving album” –The Music Swamp

“The artwork for this record, much like the music, is an eclectic, unique, strange & awesome journey into the darker sides of life…. As a complete body of work this might be the most interesting record I’ve listened to in the past 5 years” –Rock N Roll Experience

“Folk rock with… a melodramatic twist…. The dramatic lull of his singing fits perfectly with the music he plays. Each song ties together like a story, yet with a dark side to it…. This is the type of music you want to listen carefully, to be sure to pick up all of the beautifully written lyrics…. The climaxes in some of these songs are really quite amazing…. Will certainly get stuck in your head, but you won’t mind because it’s really that good.” –Revolt

“You know those songs that start small and slow, slowly building into something astounding? Ethan Gold does, and he plays the game exceedingly well…. The overall effect is cathartic.” –Aiding and Abetting

“These off-kilter pop songs give you solid choruses, good beats, and strong song structure; and when the sound opens up, the album can be unabashedly satisfying” –Ravings of a Mad Music Man

“Songs From a Toxic Apartment is a remarkable album” –Sonic Dissonance

“in awe of what the multi-instrumentalist was able to capture in his apartment.” –IGN Music

“Oftentimes songs, or entire albums, can be autobiographical and can offer a brief glimpse into the artists psyche or life experience. It’s a rare occurrence when that glimpse feels truly authentic. One can point to the Reggie and the Full Effect album Last Stop: Crappy Town, Weezer’s Pinkerton and Korn’s Korn as the most encompassing albums that adhere to this instance. Now, we can add Ethan Gold’s Songs from a Toxic Apartment to that list.” –Enter the Shell

“Sounds like the acoustic prowess of Iron & Wine and the lyrical flexibility of Bright Eyes, shaken up with a strong dose of rocking out” –Last Week’s Album

“Ethan Gold is one massively talented dude and stays away from sappy troubadour-dom by utilizing a wide instrumentation for this project. He even produced, arranged, engineered and mixed everything himself – and it’s not even Mountain Goats fidelity – Gold is able to pull off a deep and clean sound from his many performances. If you know Mull Historical Society or early Badly Drawn Boy, think less quirky and more accessible.” –Ghettoblaster Magazine

“Ethan Gold is a talented multi-instrumentalist and singer-songwriter whose debut CD, Songs From A Toxic Apartment draws on songs he wrote for various characters in a rock opera about teenage male anger and violence. Gold explores memories and turning points, writing songs where sweet sounds are paired with dark themes and predicaments. It is an ambitious and provocative CD, but one with ultimately positive lessons and hope.” –Behind the Beat

“I reviewed Ethan’s excellent record Songs From a Toxic Apartment for Pitchfork today, which you should definitely own if your music library is lacking in the “fucking awesome singer/songwriter” category.” –Budget Fashionistas

credits

released December 11, 2017

Produced, Arranged, Performed, Engineered, and Mixed by Ethan Gold. Mastered by Roger Seibel and SAE Mastering, Phoenix. Artwork / Design by Sol Sender, Javier López, and Ethan Gold. Incorporating photographs and stills from Chi Jang Yin, Ethan Gold, Aleksandar Sepi, Tod Polson, Rachel Samuels, Ristow/Bassine, and Dilworth/Gold archives.

All songs ©Ethan Gold - Lonely Cities Music (ASCAP).

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about

Ethan Gold Los Angeles, California

Ethan Gold was raised in San Francisco, during the long extended hangover after hippie times in that city. A childhood of constant change and chaos may have led Ethan to the unique way he approaches music. He’s willing to be quiet enough to paint in songs the delicate details of the modern age, and willing to be strong enough to fight for the world as it could be. ... more

ethangold.com

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